Why are you still here?

Jesus seems to have a habit of pushing his people away. He wasn’t interested in the fair weather followers, those who were just looking for a free meal or wanting to see a neat trick. He only wanted those willing to go the distance, those willing to go to their grave.

That’s a hard ask.

Everyday it would seem I wake up, take a cold shower, and ask myself this: Why are you still here? How could you possibly still want to follow Jesus?

I don’t know if it’s him or me asking this.

Don’t you know that the Bible is full of garbage? There are things in there that are clearly not historical or just myth. Yeah, but myths turn out to be true all the time. Remember the city of Troy? Yeah, but that doesn’t Thor is real. It’s also full of things that seem true, even after thousands of years and hundreds of retellings by various authors. It’s also full of real places you can visit, and real people.. and real failures. The failures resonate with me the most. It is a book of failures, why would someone make up a book of failures?

Don’t you see all the shitty Christians? There is great hypocrisy happening all around you. Christians who won’t shed a tear over the dead and dying.. the poor and oppressed. They are hypocrites. Yes, and everyone is a hypocrite. You are hypocrite. It’s not a uniquely Christian thing. But shouldn’t we expect more from Christians? Maybe, but for every Donald Trump there is a Fred Rogers out there somewhere. Most of them are quiet. If you dig back through time just about every school, hospital, and orphanage has its origin in someone following Jesus. Yes, you can say the same about many wars as well, but you won’t find the origin of war in Jesus’s words, just some of his followers.

Was the world really made in six days? No, but what is a day anyway? The Universe expanded faster than the speed of light.. how are days even measured? A story told for thousands of years and written as history. There is still very much truth in a story that starts with things going sideways because “Man” blames “Women” (and God) for all of his mistakes.

Don’t you just believe this because it’s how you were raised? Maybe, but being raised to believe in gravity doesn’t make gravity untrue if I stop believing in it. Who am I to throw something out because I don’t necessarily like it? I’ve pushed back on it hard enough to know that there is something solid to it. I pointed my finger and God and he pointed his back. I have receipts. They are miracles to me, even if they are myths to others.

So, why are you still here? Because I don’t have any other choice. To whom shall I turn? Myself? Others? No one has all the answers and if they don’t they don’t have wait it takes to back it up. Jesus backed up all his talk with walking the walk. I have too much history with the journey to turn back now. I want to see where this goes. And what do I really have to lose? The worst case scenario is I learn to love my neighbors more and live with a hope that never gets validated. I won’t care either way when I’m dead.